My moments from TEDwomen 2019
Building It Now…
Sharing my experiences and key takeaways from attending a women’s conference
Never have I ever… shared a deep connection with someone I just met. The TEDWomen 2019 conference was a journey of many firsts for me. This platform promoting women’s empowerment and success across different avenues of life created a safe space, one I had never felt before. Each attendee joined holding a connection of shared values and an openness to accepting diverse thoughts.
The theme of this year’s conference was “Bold + Brilliant”, to bring in the change-makers and taboo breakers in society and share their stories. I was fortunate to join these women from around the world to attend the 2019 conference that took place in Palm Springs, as part of BCG’s delegation to the 3-day event. I felt a rollercoaster of emotions, it was a time of reflection, a setting for like-minded individuals to have meaningful and powerful conversations, and overall an experience that left me feeling fulfilled and motivated.
At the welcome dinner on day 1, myself and two colleagues (whom I had also just met that morning for the first time) sat at a table with another two wonderful, kickass women. They were breaking barriers in their respective workplaces; one of them is an advocate for equal pay in the male-dominated video games industry and the other’s mission is to create a platform to advance women leaders. They were truly implementing what they believed in and making a visible change in their organizations day by day. I was able to have vulnerable and uncensored conversations with these women just moments after meeting them.
It was a powerful way to kick off the conference and from that point, inspiration continued to flow through and impact me. Being my first time at a TED event, I sat in the mysterious and mesmerizing theatre and allowed myself to focus and fully engage with the thoughts that were about to be shared. I have shared below a few that resonated strongly with me.
1. Push the boundaries, think outside the box
Lucy King, head of the human-elephant co-existence program, showed us how thinking outside the box and tackling problems sustainably as a non-zero-sum game can help solve many multi-faceted societal issues and build a healthier ecosystem. Her project, Save the Elephant, works at saving homes of the forest natives by straying elephants away via bee noises and hives, instead of destructive fences. In doing so, it also keeps the elephants safely in the forest. It has blossomed a business and brand ‘elephant-friendly honey’ for the natives and promotes local women businesses of weaving and artistry.
2. Speak out, take risks
From Cara Khan, an international human rights activist diagnosed with a rare genetic condition, I learnt that it’s important to take risks and discover my edge of comfort — by testing the limits and doing what I want despite the constraints of society. Khan taught the idea of letting courage and fear coexist.
Jen Gunter and Lisa Mosconi showed us that we need to start talking about the taboos behind all things “feminine”. We, as a society need to stop shunning and treating our body as a “dirty” topic. It’s time to speak up about the female body and dilemmas by promoting knowledge for a healthier society. This actually reminded me of the “Padman of India”, promoting the discussion around menstruation and seeing the positive effect it made on women in less privileged areas of my own country.
3. There’s always another perspective or lens
Smruti Jukur, an urbanist in India, solves urban planning issues by applying innovative design methodologies to the over-populated and under-privileged streets of Mumbai. In her endeavour to uncover and solve city dwellers’ recurring problems, she learnt that despite being a qualified urban planner — looking at space from the lens of the people who live in it and let the residents decide for themselves provided novel and more effective solutions. She touched on an idea that the economic free market focuses on, but that which most management and governments fear to implement: let the people decide, they know better.
Valorie Kondos, UCLA women’s gymnastics team coach, shared how when she changed her perspective on the role of a coach by changing the meaning of success for her team, she transformed their experience and lives. Her secret to success changed from winning titles to focusing on the betterment of her team as individuals, mentoring them and helping them focus on excellence and finding meaning. The key takeaway was that winning is not all that matters. Instead, mentorship and striving for excellence for all members of the team are what is paramount for success.
4. To succeed, everyone needs to be part of your fight — Call them in
Eve Ensler, the creator of ‘Vagina Monologues’, shared the eye-tearing story of how she changed the outlook on her own experience of abuse to discover the profound power of an apology. She told us of the transformational impact writing out a letter on behalf of her deceased father — one detailing the genuine apology that she would’ve wanted from him — had on her. She created a roadmap to walk us through her 4-step process of writing such an apology as the perpetrator: detail out what you did, ask yourself why, put yourself in the victim’s shoes and feel what they felt, take responsibility. Her talk emphasized that we now need to do the hard task of calling men in, instead of calling them out. Of asking them to take responsibility, publicly.
Pat Mitchell, a dangerous woman as she calls herself, proved her worth as a single mother in a male-dominated world and rose to be an inspiration for all. Through her talk, she told us the importance of having allies and called everyone in to embrace the hardships and risks to create a safe space for future generations. Jane Fonda, the actor and activist, creates an environment for people to be together in the fight for what they believe in. She gathers protestors during her Fire Drill Fridays, the weekly climate demonstration she leads in Washington DC, for everyone to feel empowered and supported in their fight against the environmental status quo.
5. You have all the tools you need, Build It Now
Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, first president of Liberia, told us to go out and fight for what we believe in — as an 81-year-old, she is still a women’s activist and is now starting an organization to support women leaders. Angie Murimirwa, leader of the Campaign for Female Education, is not only educating women in rural areas pan-Africa but also helping provide them with the resources to build the career they dream of.
The formal sessions compelled me to listen and reflect on topics familiar and those unexpected. But the informal social interactions and connections I made are the ones that truly broke me out of my shell. Lesley Mansford, one of the women I met at dinner on day 1, pushed me to talk about the ideas and moments that matter to me. She pushed me to be comfortable with the unfamiliar. We shared our ambitions and aspirations: for the first time, I shared my story out loud about the platform I want to build to empower underprivileged women to be entrepreneurial. This is the very idea that brought me to the event in the first place.
As the conference came to an end, I took time to recap and reflect on the people I had met, the words I had heard and the feelings I had felt. I left the conference feeling re-energized and confident to engage in those difficult conversations, to step out of my comfort zone and “build it now”. That message was exactly what I had embossed on the journal given to us — not my name, but a quote that will trigger me to be the change I want to see every day moving forward.
So many moments that I would have earlier stated as “never have I ever” statements became “At TED women, the first time I ever” memories. And as you know, you never forget your first(s).
Some other talks from the conference that are must-watches
Jeannie Suk Gersen, a professor of law, told us to be real and introspect on our relationships before they end — through her talk on thinking of love from the lens of divorce (I know it sounds odd at first read, but you should really check it out, it has an important meaning and message).
Hindou Ibrahim, a member of the Mbororo people of Chad, helped impact the work of climate scientists by including the knowledge of indigenous people. She tied in different cultures and communities by promoting indigenous knowledge to the work of modern science.
Denise Ho, singer and LGBTQ rights activist from Hong Kong, showed us the power of speaking out and being true to yourself, as her beautiful voice echoed through the theatre.
Debbie Millman, a brand and design guru, talked about the implications that cross-cultural branding and marketing have. Being Indian, a relevant example that stood out was that of the evil Swastika from Nazi Germany, which is a holy Hindu symbol in India dated back centuries before Hitler adopted it.
Jiabao Li’s work at the intersection of emerging technology at design focuses on the very idea of changing perspectives — she creates AR technology to alter people’s view of the world, in order to highlight our everyday (right vs. left) biases.
I have also posted the same article on LinkedIn:
